Faye and Ashley's fertility journey
Written on 18 April 2018
"Last summer me and Ash got some news which actually broke my heart. To be told you can’t conceive after desperately trying, and that you won’t be able to ever conceive is something I wouldn’t wish on any woman/couple. I have never pictured myself as anything but a mum, but to marry someone who was so naturally born to be a dad, and then not being able to give him a child has been unbearable.
And so began our journey. I guess we are lucky we live in a time of modern medicine, so to be told IVF is our only hope, and that we only get one free go (gulp) we began the painstaking process of trying to become parents.
I have felt like at this time everyone in my life has become pregnant or started a family. I would never ever wish that someone didn’t get their precious gift of a baby, but I would be lying if I said whenever I found out someone was pregnant, it was like someone had gone into my chest and ripped out my heart. The gut wrenching pain of wanting something so bad and not being able to get it is something I just can’t explain.
I have to say at this point, I count myself unbelievably lucky to have had the support system around me of family and friends. And honest to god, the strength and comfort from my husband has gone above and beyond anything I could have asked for. From scooping me off the floor when I have broken down, or sitting with me on the sofa and holding my hand when I have cried for hours on end, knowing there’s nothing he could say or do other than be there, has been priceless, and it will be something I will be forever grateful for.
I have been losing weight for nearly a year to try and help. The hormones and injections and medication and poking and prodding and scans.....it sometimes felt never ending.
We have tried to keep this as private as possible. I guess I’m proof that you never know what a person is going through, and because of this, never again will I ask “so do you want kids?” “You trying for a baby then?” Or anything along those lines, as you just don’t know what people are going through or the pain that they are trying to hide from the world. I know there will be people reading this that quite possibly are going through the same or even worse, and I hope they have been lucky enough to have the love and support people have shared with me.
So after nearly a year of secrecy, I wanted to share our journey.
We are one of the lucky couples.
There was light at the end of our dark tunnel. We just needed to keep positive.
Baby Milson..... due end of October. 💙💖"